The hokkien saying, 'Gin Nah Boh Puat Toh Ah Chua Eh Tua Han,' is quite true even though it sounds a little bit sarcastic. Direct word-for-word translation: 'Child No Fall Down How to Grow Up.'

In other words, experiencing pain is vital for growing up.

And I have recently come to fully appreciate that pain is a blessing - pain prevents us from over exerting beyond our human limits and further injuring ourselves.

Leprosy is known to cause scaly skins and the loss of limbs. But not really known to me is that the loss of limbs, starting with fingers and toes, began because leprosy causes the lost of pain. Lepers often over exert themselves, cut themselves, burnt themselves - all of which are likely the main causes of their disfigurement.

So pain is important part of life. To feel pain is to be alive and stay alive.

As I watch Abigail wail in pain when she is hungry or when she has so much "wind" inside her, I feel sad but at the same time, I am thankful because God has given her the gift of life and the ability to 'grow up'.

And the most recent happenings in and around Malaysia is a very sad thing for all Malaysians. (I know of many people who couldn't care less of what's happening and I think that such people are either living a so-called "religious" life with a very self-centered view about everything.)

Malaysia is one big baby that is going through much pain as I am writing this and you are reading it.

The recent church firebombings, escalating racial tensions (threats from "religious" people), police brutality (un-solved cases of deaths in police lock-ups,) constant sodomy cases, and authorities' incompetencies are really making hardworking Malaysians afraid of the future of Malaysia as a peaceful and developing country. I would be if I am of sound mind. And I am sure many minorities Malaysians who are capable are already plotting an escape route to leave this country seeing that it is headed towards a lawless police state. The brain drain rate will climb, and Malaysia may soon find itself exporting maids to Singapore, Thailand or even Indonesia!

I am angry and I am sad. I am angry because I see so much (uncountable) corruption that go unpunished, and I am sad because many politicians voted by the people soon disintegrate into ineffective servant of the people. Politicians forgot that they are not suppose to be a master but a servant. The Prime Minister should be reminded that he is a Prime Servant and not a dictator. He has the obligation to serve the people of Malaysia, and not to be served. All this has been forgotten. Sudah lupa-lah! The people of Malaysia serve the people they vote into office. The definition of a great leader has been inverted in this country.

But let us remind ourselves of what Jesus says about being great:

"Foreign kings order their people around, and powerful rulers call themselves everyone's friends. But don't be like them. The most important one of you should be like the least important, and your leader should be like a servant. Who do people think is the greatest, a person who is served or one who serves? Isn't it the one who is served? But I have been with you as a servant. You have stayed with me in all my troubles. So I will give you the right to rule as kings, just as my Father has given me the right to rule as a king...."

The least shall be the greatest. This is what I need to remind myself each time I am called into a leadership role. I must learn to serve as Jesus came to serve. I must learn to live for Christ and not live for myself. And as painful as things get, I must know that the path to life is narrow and difficult. Pain is all about living.

As Malaysia struggles thru a painful period, I urge all Malaysians who love this land, regardless of race and faith, to stay and fight for the truth, to support the right cause, and to ensure that this land will not fall into the hands of crooked and corrupt people - people who serve with their lips but kill with their hands.

Nothing against those who have left or on the verge of leaving Malaysia. Just remember your family and friends who are still here - be the voice for us in your new found land.

We can fight against evil in this land by spreading the truth and ensuring there is a united stand against evil. Inaction and fear in confronting injustice is condoning evil. Speak out and speak against evil. Do not be afraid. Matthew 10:28 says this:

And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.

Easier said than done right?

So take it one step of faith at a time. If you have never publicly spoken against the political evil in this land for fear of being arrested, you can start now. Do not go and shout and look to be arrested - but be courageous to share your thoughts. If the government has taken captive of your thoughts and your freedom of speech by instilling fear, why do we still call this country a democratic country!? Think about it.

A friend of mine who is not at all rich, has started transferring his money to other countries, and he tells me that this country will eventually not be fit for the minorities, and he has advised me to do likewise, to be prepared for the "eventual". I have told him that I intend to stay and fight because I think pain is part of God's plan for Malaysia to grow into a greater country. He laughed when I said this. But he is quite afraid to speak against the political evil in Malaysia - he thinks like the majority of minorities - self centered and pessimistic view. I do not wish to write to condemn my good friend, but it makes me sad to know that he and millions of Malaysians are the answer to this question: "What is the problem with Malaysia?" (Answer: I am. - answer by millions of Malaysians)

Why do I say this?

I tested my friend with a scenario. This is what I told him. "You condemn the political leaders of this country for their corrupt and unjust ways. But assuming one day, a 'head' minister of this country hangs a million ringgit in front of you, drops his pants and ask you to kiss it (his ass). Would you do it for 1 million ringgit?" And he hesitated for the longest time! Sigh.

This is perhaps the ultimate test of integrity.

Don't judge him if you also hesitate. Maybe yours is ten million sterling pounds. Perhaps almost everyone has a price! The question is, how much money would you do it for? Remember that Jesus was tempted by the devil in similar fashion. (read Matthew Chapter 4)

So I told my friend. "Man, you cannot judge all the politicians in Gerakan, MCA, MIC, Makkal Sakthi, etc. because you are guilty of similar crime (sin). If you are voted by the people and the temptation come, you will just be like the rest of the cronies who work for mammon (money).

So the Bible is clear in saying this:
No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

Indeed the road to a great nation will be a long and painful one for Malaysia. It will not be easy to get to where we want to go, but without this journey, Malaysia will always be an infant. History has taught us that great nations rise from rubbles. Let's just hope that we are still here after the rubble.

Think about this: Pain is and will remain an integral part of life on earth. It is a growing thing.

The sky was blue and clear on the Sunday morning of October 4, and it was church as usual. However, that morning turned out to be a wake-up call. The message that morning was simple but convicting - "go, go out and mean business with God."

As I sat under the chew chang kha (big tree) having lunch right after church service, my flesh was debating, actually, fighting. In my spirit, "this is it, this is the day" - God had wanted me to go and pray for my elderly distant relative who had been sick for a long long time. It wasn't significant to me why there was such a sense of urgency, as I had been telling myself that I will make the visit eventually - something that I had procrastinated for the past 8 months since my last visit during CNY.

I knew the procrastination was the weakness of my flesh, and that morning, I decided that I will no longer wrestle with this indecision.

At around 2pm, I saw Ah Lat ee, working some chores - taking down the clothes that had dried from the afternoon heat. She welcomed me with warmness and asked me in. As ushered myself in, I peeked into their small bedroom, and saw Ah Chong tiau, lying in an almost fetal position, faced towards the wall.

Ah Chong tiau had suffered a major stroke about 13 years ago, and the effect had been debilitating to say the least. He had been bedridden for at least 5 years, and situation at home had not improved - Ah Lat ee's health was on a decline, and their life's savings had all been spent on medical needs for Ah Chong tiau. And it was also disheartening to hear from Ah Lat ee that their only adopted son, Soon Soon, was not showing the level of care and concern deserved by both parents - "ee suka ee ai cho har meek" (he does what he likes), quipped Ah Lat.

Through this family, God has been reminding me of my own selfishness and He has made known to me that I am becoming lukewarm in reaching the lost. Even though I had continued to pray for Ah Chong tiau to be miraculously healed, the demands that God put on His disciples are more than lip servicing. "Faith without works is dead."

I had a chat with Ah Lat ee for about 20-30 minutes updating her about myself as well as getting a download of info on herself as well as her elderly brother who was living next door. It was a joy to also have the chance to share with Ah Lat ee about the love of God, and God's promise for salvation. And I've told her to have faith to believe that Jesus is more than able to help no matter how bad the situation is - asking her to believe in a miracle.

After being granted the permission to pray for Ah Chong tiau, I went into their bedroom and sat next to him by his bedside, and called him several times.

I heard some micro grunts but no sign that he was responding to my call. Ah Lat ee was standing by the door, and she said that Ah Chong tiau was no longer able to hear as well as identify people.

When my hand was briefly placed on the forehead of Ah Chong tiau, there was a sudden jerking - and I knew just right then and there that God's Spirit has already began a good work in his life. I thanked God and believed that something good was going to happened. I asked God if He would bring healing and salvation to Ah Chong tiau - believing that He would do both!

So I went home that day... feeling so thankful to God for the opportunity to minister to the sick, and to witness for Him. In my mind, I was already thinking of how to react to a phone call from relatives of Ah Chong tiau claiming that he has been miraculously healed. I was reeling...

"BZZZZZZZ!! BZZZZZZZ!!!", my phone was vibrating in my pocket at around 3pm on Monday. "Lo si Leng Nya ee ay kia yor?" (Are you Kim Lian's son?), asked the caller.

After the call, I was temporarily in a semi coma. Ah Chong tiau had passed away around 3pm on Sunday, an hour after my visit. According to Ah Lat ee, he had passed away right after she tried to feed him some water.

Thankfully, I was to find out later that she was at peace with the passing of her husband, aged 77. She felt that his suffering has finally been laid to rest. On the contrary, I was really troubled and felt that God had abandoned Ah Chong tiau and had put me in a situation of having to explain myself - especially to my mother and my siblings - who were probably wondering what I was doing there in the first place.

My mind was racing against God, trying to get Him to provide answers? Questions like, "Will Ah Chong tiau be saved? How could I continue ministering the Gospel to my relatives after this event?

Today, 2 months after Ah Chong tiau's passing, I've began to understand that God's ways are infinitely higher than mine, and His thoughts are higher than all of His creations' put together. How could I comprehend or even contend with my Creator except to know that He is in control. "Be still and know that I am God."

Isaiah 55:8-9

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."

It was not altogether wrong to examine the situation and to ask God tough questions but to force God to make me understand His ways and His thoughts is something against the Scripture. As His creation, we will not be able to comprehend our Creator's ways and His thoughts - at least not now. The time may come when He decides to reveal more of His thoughts and His ways to us....

To God be all the glory. I do believe that Ah Chong tiau is in heaven today, and that is the faith that I place in Him, my God who is a merciful and loving God.

To all Christians who are downcast and thinking that they must do big big things for God, I just want to share this with you:

"Small things done with great love build bridges into the darkened lives. When we step out to do a small thing, God shows up to accomplish a big thing."

After 4-sessions spanning 4 days of lessons for parents-to-be, I believe my wife and I are much more equipped with the knowledge that is needed to prepare for the birth of our baby girl, Abigail. :-)

Thanks to Hunny and Eric who pulled some strings that enabled us to sign up for the Penang Adventist Hospital "prenatal class". If not for them, my wife & I (mainly her-lah) will still be guided by limited knowledge (Dr. Miriam's Book on Pregnancy) as well as "ancient" wisdom - which are typically mixed with superstitious and superficial fear.

3 words to describe prenatal class for all parents to-be who are wondering if the time & money spent are worth it: Must attend 1! Of course one can argue that millions of women have successfully given birth all over the world without going thru such classes and all that preparations may be out of unwarranted fear. Well, ignorance is not bliss.

Because of the lack of knowledge, some parents have either made errors or didn't do the things they were suppose to do, and their actions and/or inactions have either resulted in a lifetime of regrets or some life-threatening accidents - incidences that could have been averted have knowledge been disseminated at the right time and applied diligently.

Of course no MS Powerpoint lessons or classes can ever be sufficient to prepare any parents for situations that the world call the "act of God." Nevertheless, in life's journey, we must never stop learning - always be on our toes to equip ourselves with knowledge and good counseling that will guide us, and in situations that are beyond us, we should always seek for His mercy and grace.

Exclamations such as, "I was not told!" or "How could I have known?!" are normally uttered in despair when things go wrong. Base on the amount of precious information that I have learned, I would like to urge all parents-to-be to attend prenatal class - best is right before family planning or upon first confirmation of pregnancy. The earlier, the better!

One of the straightforward but yet overlooked item is nutritional needs for mothers - both prenatal and post-natal stages. We are so appreciative to have learned life's lesson from a Nutritionists who gave birth to a healthy 3.9kg baby. One of the precious info that I took away from her class is: EAT SPROUTED BREAD because it contains nutrients that are easily multiples of that found in white bread.

Out of curiosity, I ate PAH's freshly baked sprouted bread that very next day and found an irresistible man-food relationship. :-). And FYI, sprouted bread is not rich-man's bread - maybe about RM2 more than typical white bread.

So I decided to find out more about the actual benefits of sprouted bread, and why is it better than the typically fluffy and whitish bread we find all over. And I can say that the information that I have learned was in synch with my own body's reaction to sprouted bread. Do a Google search if you wish to know more about the benefits of sprouted bread.

Eating grains, fruits and bread are scriptural - Genesis 1:29. In a way, we can clearly see that God encourages us to eat a very well-balanced food consisting of grains, fruits and bread. :-)

Genesis 1:29 (New International Version)

Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.

Ezekiel 4:9 (New Living Translation)

“Now go and get some wheat, barley, beans, lentils, millet, and emmer wheat, and mix them together in a storage jar. Use them to make bread for yourself during the 390 days you will be lying on your side.

....To be continued...

And she shall be called.... Abigail, Joanna? Naomi?...

Honestly, I have not thought of a name for my "soon-to-be-borned" baby girl. And I have not taken time to discuss this with my wife. So it was that I was shaken in a dream recently of my "tidak-apa" attitude towards the gift from God.

I am thankful to God for always being a good and strict Father - always shaking me out from my pitiful mental frame, and reminding me to be serious in walking right with Him.

The fact that Dr. Ng (my wife's gynaecologist) announced the sex of my baby in a very playful manner ("...it's a hamburger") did momentarily affected my appreciation for the upcoming birth of my firstborn. Honestly, I was expecting a baby boy. I realized that it shouldn't be about my "way" but God's way, and that the celebration of a new life and a celebration of my little baby girl should be anticipated to a level that honors and glorifies God.

Every birth is a miracle, and every life is precious in His eye!

Life will certainly change for me and my wife when our little baby girl is born somewhere towards end of November. One thing for sure - I may be sleeping in a single bed for a few months while my wife and the baby get to slumber on our queen-sized mattress.

Will update my blog with ultrasound pics and more interesting stuff in the weeks to come. Ah... and also the baby's name will be made known.

Chen Tze, looks like our choice of "Benjamin" will have to wait.

Honk! honk!
(Foul languages)
(Tempers flare)
(Emotions Run Wild)
(RAGE!!!) ------ Kill! Kill!

Rage can kill. Rage is uncontrolled anger which explodes into hatred, and anger kicks in when someone crosses our paths and provokes us. If you don't get provoked driving in Penang or big cities in Malaysia, I salute you.

Anger is a natural response to sin. God gets angry as well but unlike us, He is "slow to anger, abounding in love and willing to forgive."

Inconsiderate and selfish driving is, to me, a clear indication of a person's morality. If you need convincing, come to Penang and drive daily for at least a few months.

What pisses me off is not the acts but the fact that I am surrounded by so many people who... are both self center and lost. These lost souls feel that their time is more precious than others (and that's why they will cut from all illegal directions/lanes); that they deserve a clear view of the road ahead (and they blind others with their Super Xenon headlights using high beam); etc. etc... the list can be long.

OFTEN I get angry pretty fast when I see inconsiderate drivers or riders - especially those in my way or causing me to slam on my brakes or swerve my car or my bike. So un-Christ-like of me.

SOMETIMES when these inconsiderate or moronic road bullies cross my path or forces me out of my lane, I confess that murderous intentions sometimes find its way into my mind - especially when I am rushing! Whoooaa! Well, the heart is deceitful above all things.. and if you have had impression that I was holy and all goody-2-shoes, I am not.

But ALWAYS, I know I am wrong to react the way I did. PSALM 4:4 says "In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent." And I am ALWAYS in need of repentance when I do that.

I am human, and I am messed up. If I was a goodie, I wouldn't need God, and I am sure the Bible is not wrong when God says that even our holiness is filthy rags to Him.

Anyway, I am not offering any lesson to handle road rage. But I am telling a story concerning road rage that God involved me. An experience that will help me to cope with my personal anger.

I challenged my wife to make a decision on where to have our breakfast this morning (yes, woman can be indecisive and you can certainly be spoilt for choices to have breakfast in Penang :-)) Surprisingly, she was quite fast to said where she wanted to eat.

On the way to Rifle Range, coming close to the new Firehouse in Paya Terubong, my wife and I heard a noise coming from one of the tyres. It sounded like a nail or an object caught in the tyre. So I stopped my car next to the curb and went down to inspect all 4 tyres. I spent about 10 minutes inching my hand thru the threads trying to find, perhaps, a gold pin instead of a nail. Wasn't that lucky.

Before I could find the source of the noise...

Suddenly a commotion started as soon as a car screeched to a stop right about 30 feet in front of me. A bike stopped next to it. A road rage was about to explode.

Lots of foul "hokkien" words were exchanged besides legal perspectives of traffic rules.

The man came out from his car. And I started in their direction, pacing quickly, hoping to do something, but not really knowing what I would do if they started to engage in a bloodbath. Both seems competent - I have no doubt about that when I came close to them.

I always thought I will get into a fight by defending the person who has been wronged or being bashed like a ragged doll. Never knew if the courage was still with me. But those carnally heroic thoughts were not with me that morning. I felt very strongly that God was in charge. And I was thinking that should a fight broke off, I was going to shout to Him for help. Either He gives me some super powers or He causes the 2 men to stop fighting. Both ways work for me. Nevertheless, I didn't know who had been wronged.

God arranged for me to stop at the right place and at the right time. To the skeptic, this is called coincident. But let me say that as I placed my arms around the 2 men, I knew that God was placing me where He had wanted me that very morning. They were still challenging each other and cursing when my arms went around them but I was speaking as gently as I could to soften their raging tempers. And God put simple words of wisdom in my mouth that prevented the 2 men from perhaps "killing" each other.

The last few words that rang so vividly in my ears from all the cursing were these: "!@#@$...wah hor lu chiak cheng chee....!@#$" ("....I will make you eat a bullet...") EEEUUUU... my God... and it sounded with so much conviction - like the guy really have a gun or knows someone who would do the job for him.

Anyway, when I reflected back on those 10+ steps of faith that resulted in diffusing a road rage, I am so thankful to God for His mercy on the 2 men that could have completely changed the course of their day or even their lives for the worse had God not intervened.

And I am thankful that He used me. :-)

My wife was afraid that I could have been beaten up... but I like to think that she would have come to my rescue with at least an umbrella in her hand.

So we resumed our journey to Rifle Range without any more sounds coming from the tyre - and no, I didn't find a single object sticking to my tyre. (Yes, I guess another coincident-lah)

It was Hokkien Mee and Char Koay Teow as recommended by a friend whom we bumped into. Beh Pai Chiak-lah!

Meditate on this verse:

Ephesians 4:26
"In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry"