Since early last week, it has occurred to me that even though my life has been quite uneventful for the past few months, I am quite contented with the way things are - not that I am looking for challenges or asking God to throw problems at my way. In fact, I am hoping I will slide thru the year as things have been - silent night.

And to think about it, things are going quite ok for me and a lot of people around me with the exception for the looming financial "meltdown" - which is worrying a lot of people - especially those who have invested heavily in the stock market.

Although some of my investment in unit trusts have depreciated by more than 40% over the course of 2-3 months, I've realized that I can't make things any better by worrying, and really, I have not been worried since this is something that I have committed for the long run.

At work, things are relatively slow, projects have risen and disappeared over night - which can be translated to either bad or good - bad because my company may eventually see less need for the present workforce and resort to downsize, but good if my company can pull thru without downsizing - meaning, more rest for me.

In examining myself, I realize that I am sort of in a lukewarm situation.

And this is worrying me.

On the one hand, I know I am not out in the marketplace fighting and competing for top spot in the corporate ladder or working 12-hours a day to shine and impress my boss. If I was, I will be fully devoted to the things of this world - being cold to God's will, and putting him aside while I carry on with my agenda of achieving fortune and perhaps fame.

On the other hand, I am not involved in Father's business (neither a 'goer' nor a sender). I am neither here nor there when it comes to ministry or mission. Even though I know I am signed up for the classes in FGA that will eventually steer me towards mission, I realize that missions starts where I am - my wife, parents, siblings and my friends. But the fire is certainly getting dimmer over the years. My devotion to their salvation is questionable. Have I ran out of steam? Lukewarm water cannot produce steam.

As it appears to be a revelation, I have recently notice some of the folks who lived across my apartment praying and making offerings to their gods on a daily basis. I realized that these folks spend as long as an hour on almost a daily basis in their prayer rituals, and the most impressive thing is that they make it a duty to pray first thing in the morning and last thing at night. And I am brought to shame by their acts of devotion. How much time have I devoted to God on a daily basis. I dare not say.

Now I am worried!

And when I think of my 7 years of being in the kingdom of God - heard so many sermons, been taught by so many teachers of the Word, having read so many Christian books, and shed tears watching some of the Christian movies/documentaries - I have to ask myself this question: am I truly devoted to Him?