'Are you happy?'; 'How are things going?' These are very common greetings we often get from friends and even strangers. But nobody ever ask: "Are you lonely?" or "Are you lonesome?"

Are you? If you are, take heart that you are not alone in this. :-)

I met with a college friend of mine, Wei Chong, over the last weekend. He has been working in the US since he left school in 1999. I left in 1998.

Another college friend staying in Penang was there as well. He is my social network guru. If not for Chu Hor, I wouldn't have been able to get connected with friends from my college days.

Over dinner, we talked about many things - often reminiscing our days at Purdue and sometimes dwelling on the present.

When we touched on the topic of job, I have come to know that Wei Chong is currently working in California for a well known high tech industry.

With a Master's degree in EE, I am confident Wei Chong is doing very well there - especially from a job security standpoint.

I was caught by surprised when Wei Chong made a statement that the future for him in the States may be uncertain - as he is contemplating to come back home to Malaysia.

"What?!" Chu Hor and I quipped.

Leaving USA is not just migrating but it is akin to abandoning the "American Dream." To me, Wei Chong is already living the "American Dream" - he knows it but there is one huge vacuum in his heart.

Loneliness. It overcomes any dream that you have.

Loneliness is perhaps the first problem God saw with man when He created Adam. God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” (Genesis 2:18)

I remember when I arrived in the States in 1994, the most overwhelming feeling was loneliness.

Being unsuccessful at finding a girlfriend, the feeling of loneliness overwhelmed me for a long time. Fortunately for friends and intensely crazy school assignments, I was able to move on even though life was still very lonely.

If I did have the privilege to stay in the US for another 2-3 years after my graduation, it would have been manageable, but to settle down without building a family would have been unthinkable. I wouldn't know how to cope with the feeling of loneliness.

I have always thought that for a man to overcome loneliness all he needs to do is to get married. Today, I stand corrected. Getting married is not the real solution to overcoming loneliness.

Surprised? Some of us may already know thru experience.

A right relationship with God is the answer to overcoming loneliness.

Do you know that some married people are more lonely than single people? And we can see that this is true when the rate of divorce is growing.

When you have a right relationship with God, you are able to commune with Him on a daily basis. Remember that God has also sent us the Holy Spirit to be our "helper" and comforter. Meaning that, you are not alone if you abide in Christ. Our ability to commune with God shows the world that God is not some kind of incomprehensible cosmic powerhouse but that He is a relational God who understands us and our needs.

So what does God say about loneliness? Does the scripture talks about this? The one verse that is very comforting for lonely people is the one below.

In Psalm 68:6:

God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy. But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.

Isn't the thought that God care enough that He does not want us to be lonely wonderful?

Please take note that it is not singular but plural - families. The family of God consist of many families. Our biological family is also from God - and it is the first and most important one to start off with.

Then you have the large church family (that you are in) and smaller families like cell group and ministry-linked groups (that you participate), and also the families that you form when you bond with other Christians. This is abundance!

Lots of people have asked me how I become a Christian. The one answer that I always fail to tell them is loneliness.

With God, I am never alone!