The sky was blue and clear on the Sunday morning of October 4, and it was church as usual. However, that morning turned out to be a wake-up call. The message that morning was simple but convicting - "go, go out and mean business with God."

As I sat under the chew chang kha (big tree) having lunch right after church service, my flesh was debating, actually, fighting. In my spirit, "this is it, this is the day" - God had wanted me to go and pray for my elderly distant relative who had been sick for a long long time. It wasn't significant to me why there was such a sense of urgency, as I had been telling myself that I will make the visit eventually - something that I had procrastinated for the past 8 months since my last visit during CNY.

I knew the procrastination was the weakness of my flesh, and that morning, I decided that I will no longer wrestle with this indecision.

At around 2pm, I saw Ah Lat ee, working some chores - taking down the clothes that had dried from the afternoon heat. She welcomed me with warmness and asked me in. As ushered myself in, I peeked into their small bedroom, and saw Ah Chong tiau, lying in an almost fetal position, faced towards the wall.

Ah Chong tiau had suffered a major stroke about 13 years ago, and the effect had been debilitating to say the least. He had been bedridden for at least 5 years, and situation at home had not improved - Ah Lat ee's health was on a decline, and their life's savings had all been spent on medical needs for Ah Chong tiau. And it was also disheartening to hear from Ah Lat ee that their only adopted son, Soon Soon, was not showing the level of care and concern deserved by both parents - "ee suka ee ai cho har meek" (he does what he likes), quipped Ah Lat.

Through this family, God has been reminding me of my own selfishness and He has made known to me that I am becoming lukewarm in reaching the lost. Even though I had continued to pray for Ah Chong tiau to be miraculously healed, the demands that God put on His disciples are more than lip servicing. "Faith without works is dead."

I had a chat with Ah Lat ee for about 20-30 minutes updating her about myself as well as getting a download of info on herself as well as her elderly brother who was living next door. It was a joy to also have the chance to share with Ah Lat ee about the love of God, and God's promise for salvation. And I've told her to have faith to believe that Jesus is more than able to help no matter how bad the situation is - asking her to believe in a miracle.

After being granted the permission to pray for Ah Chong tiau, I went into their bedroom and sat next to him by his bedside, and called him several times.

I heard some micro grunts but no sign that he was responding to my call. Ah Lat ee was standing by the door, and she said that Ah Chong tiau was no longer able to hear as well as identify people.

When my hand was briefly placed on the forehead of Ah Chong tiau, there was a sudden jerking - and I knew just right then and there that God's Spirit has already began a good work in his life. I thanked God and believed that something good was going to happened. I asked God if He would bring healing and salvation to Ah Chong tiau - believing that He would do both!

So I went home that day... feeling so thankful to God for the opportunity to minister to the sick, and to witness for Him. In my mind, I was already thinking of how to react to a phone call from relatives of Ah Chong tiau claiming that he has been miraculously healed. I was reeling...

"BZZZZZZZ!! BZZZZZZZ!!!", my phone was vibrating in my pocket at around 3pm on Monday. "Lo si Leng Nya ee ay kia yor?" (Are you Kim Lian's son?), asked the caller.

After the call, I was temporarily in a semi coma. Ah Chong tiau had passed away around 3pm on Sunday, an hour after my visit. According to Ah Lat ee, he had passed away right after she tried to feed him some water.

Thankfully, I was to find out later that she was at peace with the passing of her husband, aged 77. She felt that his suffering has finally been laid to rest. On the contrary, I was really troubled and felt that God had abandoned Ah Chong tiau and had put me in a situation of having to explain myself - especially to my mother and my siblings - who were probably wondering what I was doing there in the first place.

My mind was racing against God, trying to get Him to provide answers? Questions like, "Will Ah Chong tiau be saved? How could I continue ministering the Gospel to my relatives after this event?

Today, 2 months after Ah Chong tiau's passing, I've began to understand that God's ways are infinitely higher than mine, and His thoughts are higher than all of His creations' put together. How could I comprehend or even contend with my Creator except to know that He is in control. "Be still and know that I am God."

Isaiah 55:8-9

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."

It was not altogether wrong to examine the situation and to ask God tough questions but to force God to make me understand His ways and His thoughts is something against the Scripture. As His creation, we will not be able to comprehend our Creator's ways and His thoughts - at least not now. The time may come when He decides to reveal more of His thoughts and His ways to us....

To God be all the glory. I do believe that Ah Chong tiau is in heaven today, and that is the faith that I place in Him, my God who is a merciful and loving God.

To all Christians who are downcast and thinking that they must do big big things for God, I just want to share this with you:

"Small things done with great love build bridges into the darkened lives. When we step out to do a small thing, God shows up to accomplish a big thing."